How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're In The World: Archive

4 tags

Feb 27th

298 notes

Feb 27th

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4 tags

Feb 27th

287 notes

Feb 27th

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Feb 27th

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3 tags

Feb 27th

4,423 notes

Watch

themoonsunandmee: Higher quality video of Darren and Kermit’s duet Darren is a muppet. this was an excellent idea.

Feb 27th

5,276 notes

3 tags

Feb 27th

545 notes

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Feb 26th

8,767 notes

 year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME

Feb 26th

121,555 notes

5 tags

Writing.com →

createwhatyouimagine: If you don’t have an account here, I suggest you get one or at least check it out. I’ve had an account for a little while now, but I’m only just now getting a chance to explore it.

Feb 26th

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6 tags

“You fail only if you stop writing.”

– Ray Bradbury (via createwhatyouimagine)

Feb 26th

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6 tags

Feb 26th

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Feb 26th

32,046 notes

1 tag

Feb 26th

23,702 notes

Feb 26th

46 notes

Feb 26th

14,549 notes

person 1: hey did you hear that oxygen and magnesium got together?

person 2: OMg

Feb 26th

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Feb 26th

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Feb 26th

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PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
random blogger reading this: what
me: OTP

Feb 26th

30,151 notes

Feb 26th

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Feb 26th

14,654 notes

Feb 26th

7,085 notes

mom: are you dating that boy, you hugged him
mom: are you dating that boy, you were talking to him 
mom: are you dating that boy, he looked at you
mom: are you dating that boy, he was breathing your air

Feb 26th

32,462 notes

2 tags

Feb 26th

707 notes

mosby: you’re like slicker than the guy with a thing on his eye, oh

Feb 25th

585 notes

Watch

hadeonmehader: Adless, non-country bound version of the SBL trailer! NICOLE! THIS IS THE MOVIE I WAS TALKING ABOUT!

Feb 25th

4,888 notes

Feb 25th

4,267 notes

1 tag

Feb 25th

393 notes

Friend: How do I find you on tumblr?

Me: You don't.

Feb 25th

30,487 notes

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Feb 25th

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Feb 25th

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Feb 25th

2,547 notes

1 tag

Friend: Hi, how are you feeling today?
Me: I think I've hit an All Time Low.
Friend: Oh my gosh. What's wrong?
Me: Well, The Maine reason is that no one gets my band references.
Friend: Wait what?
Me: Can we go to dinner so I can explain. You. Me. At Six?
Friend: What are you talking about?
Me: Or I guess we could wait for summer... Is The Summer Set?
Friend: What the hell.
Me: I mean, we could go to a parade. Perhaps a Mayday Parade?
Friend: What the fuck is a Mayday Parade.
Me: Goodbye cruel world! Bring Me The Horizon! 
Friend: You're so weird.
Me: I guess we're having a Fall Out, Boy.
Friend: I'm a girl.
Me: Yes, and Boys Like Girls.
Friend: 
Me: 
Friend: 
Me: 
Friend: 

Feb 25th

4,390 notes

The beginnings of the American Revolution,...

BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON. 
 THIS IS AMAZING.

Feb 25th

11,845 notes

2 tags

Feb 25th

1,269 notes

Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.

Feb 25th

26,666 notes

1 tag